we are about halfway through the yearly holiday crazies at the Calloway house.
halloween. done.
frank's 6th birthday. done.
crystal bridges opening cocktail party. done.
now i can finally eat some halloween candy.
i admit now that i am having a volume problem. my sister helped me identify this when she was here last. i am not a terrible mom. i am far from the best, but i know i am not the worst. i try to play with my kids. i take them places, i talk to them. i make them bored until they come up with creative solutions to entertain themselves - thus stimulating their imaginations and eventually creating the geniuses that will have to take care of me in my old age.
but right now, i am having a volume problem. when i have just a 6 year old and we are doing homeschooling and legos and practicing our tennis - i am great. when i am chillin' with the two year old - building train tracks and counting "moneys" and looking at rocks and changing diapers - i am at my best. when i am cuddling a sweet 5 month old and nursing him and praying over his sweet head and laying on the floor next to him - i am at total contentment. But. when they are all together, i feel that i am always neglecting one or another or my husband, or my home or my responsibilites in the greater world. i am not a good multi-tasker. i am later than ever these days. i am actually, legitimately forgetting to attend things. i am a terrible volunteer at school. i cannot physically do and be all the places that i want to be. it is a volume problem.
so i wonder. is this the Lord teaching me to prioritize? once i contacted an old friend on fb. it was just before Ford was born. I asked her if it was hard to have 2 boys. She is also a mother of 2 boys and a nurse. She said, "You'll be great, don't worry. You're a nurse, just use those prioritizing skills from nursing and put them into practice in your family. "(or at least it was something like that - i can't remember the exact way she said it and i hate to put quotes around something that I am not certain is correct)
but the issue is that as a nurse, i stunk at prioritizing. you can ask my friends. they all said I was a good nurse and they would have me as their nurse, but why was I so slow???
I am slow, and relationally driven. this is why in the last week I have a) forgotten picture day for frank. b) forgotten about a play I purchased tickets to at the beginning of the year, and c) arrived at frank's school this morning to see that he did not bring his backpack in the car. (that would be no big deal if his school wasn't 25 minutes away.)
I am working on my calendar, I am trying to plan better, but this morning I remembered that I just need to ask the Lord for help. As soon as I did, I felt better. I am asking for Him to make me more alert and to remind me of all the things I am balancing at once, and to handle them with love whether or not they are done in the way I had imagined.
Frank was devastated when he arrived at school without his backpack. The first thing that happened was a cool 2nd grader said, "Hi Frank! Where's your backpack?"
After we spoke to the teacher, and John's diaper leaked through during that conversation, I knelt down and said, "Frank, its no big deal. I will get you some lunch, Mrs. Brown is fine, and you will be fine today. if anyone else asks you where is your backpack, just say you don't have it today. no big deal."
I am going to try to take my own advice, but dangit if i don't sometimes wish I was a type A person.
sidenote: i would love to post photos of the many awesome events from this past month. but i can't find my camera cord.... hilarious.
