Clinging to Labor Day

If I am going to be honest, which I always try to do, I would have to say that I am just hanging in there these days.

I have found that August is historically a terrible time for me since moving to Houston. I am just so tired of the bloomin' heat, the mosquitos, and the ridiculous amounts of sunscreen I have to put on myself and my children. I want Fall to come so bad, but oh wait, I don't live in kansas anymore and it ain't coming until the middle of october.

plus there are the boys. And I adore my boys - as you have hopefully picked up on throughout this blog. But these boys make me tired, both physically and mentally. I am saying things to them lately that I don't want to say, and doing things I don't want to do, but i feel like I am just out of mama steam. I can't think of anything to teach frank, and I am sick of our books, but I am too lazy to go to the library. I want to turn off the tv forever, but then a few hours later I really want frank to watch Sesame Street so that I can have quiet for an hour. I want to be outdoorsy and say hell with the heat, let's just sweat and not care. But I care!!!! I hate it! and i find it so difficult to fake happy outdoors when i am miserable and Ford is eating leaves and I am pulling rocks out of his mouth.

And I cannot pretend that this is all about the weather and two small children. Have I mentioned that my precious myrna is leaving me to go to Mexico? As many who have lived away from family for extended periods of time will know, your friends become your local family. The Martinez family is as close to blood to me as you can get, and Jesus is taking them to Mexico to minister and live indefinitely. I have not cried about this. I teared up about some boots that were out of stock the other day, but I have been fighting the real tears because I am afraid that they won't stop once i let them fly. I don't cry much, so when I do, it is just not pretty. It usually involves snot, a splotchy nose and that dry heaving kind of sobbing. but they are leaving in less than a week and the crying is inevitable.

So all that to say, I am clinging to Labor Day. I wait for Labor Day each year. It is when I see my dearest friends from college. It is when I hand off the babies for 3 days and collapse. It is the time each year when I re-assess the last year, and mentally plan ahead how I want the next year to look as a mom and wife. It is a time when I laugh a lot and rejoice in feeling fully known and loved by some kick-ass Christian women from Kansas.