for him

dear Michael,

you know that I struggle with jealousy.  Sometimes I will look at another woman's cute hair, or amazing purse when I am trying to worship the Lord on a Sunday morning at church.  I envy other women's success at organizing and cooking.  I envy how some women can speak so sweetly to their children, seemingly at all times.  I often envy what I see other women - particularly Christian, God-fearing women have.  It is wrong, but that's the truth.

But there is one thing that I have never envied - and that is someone else's marriage.

I married my best friend.
what could be better than that?

Has married life always been perfect?  no.  it hasn't.  I have often questioned the Lord and how he designed us.  why would you put two peacemaking procrastinators together?  How was that ever supposed to work?  But perhaps, just perhaps, He knew exactly what we would need to grow us up a little bit.

I look at how we have grown when it comes to conflict.  You have paved the way for me here.  I am such a child so much of the time, pouting in my silence and one word answers when I do not get my way.  but you make me talk before we go to sleep.  You are quick to apologize, and if i have learned to apologize over the years, it is by your good example.

It is by your example that I have learned any self-discipline at all.  I can think back to who I was at 21 years old, and I was a complete mess inside and out.  it was you who set me straight on eating dinner together.  it is you who is able to take on a new habit and then never look back.  when the dentist said you needed to floss - you began flossing that night and haven't quit since.  when your learned about stretching your back before the day begins - you started doing it daily - without fail.  you eat your breakfast and read the Bible every morning.  I am in awe of your discipline.  you have kept me healthy just by my watching you.  You don't try to enforce your ways on me - it just rubs off - though i often wish it would rub off just a little bit more.

when we have a new baby - or when i've been pregnant or just plain overwhelmed, you walk right into the house at night and get to work.  oh wait - that's everynight.
sometimes i marvel.  you rise so early in the morning, work without ceasing during your days, and arrive home to a house in chaos and just start in for another couple of hours of the hardest work there is: dinner/bath/bed.  you make it all seem so easy, and i take it for granted.  and then, after the crazies have all been put to sleep and when I know you probably would just like to go to bed also, you stay up past the point of exhaustion just to sit on the couch and be with me.   

you listen.  you look.  you watch.  you talk.


you make me feel like I am easy to be married to.
 

i love you.  (you can underline that.) 
e