one issue with a blog, especially a very honest blog, is that sometimes - i will write things like the last post.  the writing is cathartic and the sharing feels right to me, but then i forget that after my catharsis, and I am fine and happy with the world, that someone else might be worried that I am remaining in the muck and mire.  so, just wanted you to know that I am doing well and feeling well; I promise.

except for one thing.

i just made a very very very impractical online purchase.  do you ever do that?
It is something that i have wanted for a very long time.  It had free shipping for this week only.  I fell pray to that ridiculous gimmick - again.  I came home today, opened my computer and I had this thought of oh my gosh - what if they stop selling it?  what if i never get it?  what if i don't get what i want?  and i purchased this item before i thought it through.  impetuousness.

after purchasing said item, i did some measuring.

it will not fit in my house. 

hmmmm.

i told my husband.
 he suggested i cancel the order.

i have attempted to do that, but was told that it was too late, and will instead just have to refuse the delivery.

hmmmmm.

im·pet·u·ous/imˈpeCHo͞oəs/

Adjective:

Acting or done quickly and without thought or care; impulsive. Moving forcefully or rapidly: "an impetuous flow of water

here is where i should write something beautiful and deep and theological about sin and how sometimes our desires come upon us so forcefully - like rushing rapids of water.  then i would write about eve and how she must have just felt overwhelmed in the garden with the desire to eat the fruit - to get what she wanted, before the opportunity was gone.

but i am hungry for lunch now.

i will think about these things, but i don't feel like writing about them.  maybe you can connect the dots for me. 
Do i need a savior who will help me return a gigantic Rocky Mountain wall mural, and at the same time help me as i work through my guilt?  Do i need to ask him to help keep me from doing things like this again?yes, yes, yes i do. 

good thing i have one. 

i love you, Jesus.