what is worthy?

what do i want to say?

what is there to say?

it is a new year.  i am never inspired to have new year's resolutions.  i think they are lame because if i wanted to change something - i should just change it, why does it have to start on jan. 1st?

however, i can say that I am refreshed after a full and wonderful break to start back into the semester with new energy.  I thought a great deal about homeschooling and parenting over the break.  perhaps I just needed a break from the homeschooling and parenting to get some perspective on how I live my days.

i plan to be more intentional this year.

that's it.  I want to plan things and carry them out for my kids.  I had this great epiphany a few days ago.  If i want my kids to learn something or appreciate something - i have to be the one to teach it.  No one else is responsible for their knowledge or values.  just me and him.  that is why they have been entrusted to us for these few years that they are in our home under our care.

Today as I cleaned, i watched a documentary on the Rockefellers.  the first 3 generations of Rockefellers were trained devoutly to be generous.  They were taught that if you had any money at all - you must give some away.  Wealth obtained wasn't meant just for our own pleasure, but to be used to better the lives of others.  that was part of their family values.  and it stuck.  i am thinking a great deal about just what are the most important things I teach and really stress to my boys.  What are the things that God wants me to stress more?

it is a humbling thing - thinking about the lives of three young men.  they are being molded and trained by us - just michael and erin - two kids who fell hard in love at a rehearsal dinner.  And now we are responsible for praying for and guiding these boys into men.  What is important?  what is lasting?  what matters?  There are many good things to teach your children, but what is Great?  what is worthy?

the days are so short.  john is already six months old and I feel certain he was just a newborn last week.  frank is halfway through kindergarten.  you know that is just the gateway to elementary school - which just leads to middle school - which is thankfully over quickly and then you have a boy driving himself to high school before you even know it, and then he will be gone.  out of my reach.
which of my words and phrases will ring in his mind as he goes about his adult life?

I know there will be some not so good parts of me that will stay with him, but I am praying now that I can be used to bring about some health and love for God and others as he grows.

I hear my old Pastor Rufus in my head all the time.  he says, "More is caught than taught."  He also said something cute with alliteration to remind me that repetition is effective with kids (i guess he didn't repeat that saying enough though). 



I have no concluding thoughts here.  my mind has wandered off into Bible verses to memorize, and then into how come i don't just blog about recipes and funny stories anymore?  i used to be cute and fun on this blog.  maybe that will come back one day.  for now i will remain your serious, downer friend who watches too many pbs documentaries and listens to too much NPR, and wants to go get coffee all the time but feels guilty for paying that much money for coffee, but not guilty enough because i still leave my kids in my minivan so i can run in and order my nonfat latte with extra foam - because places in fayetteville refuse to make a medium sized cappuchino - and no one will build a stinkin drive thru.


here are some photos just for fun

bad, frizzy hair day.  3 bale cotton

light of the ozarks.  ford wanders off shortly after this photo - giving us just another heart attack.

 last weekend with the Germans.  so wonderful.